


cold hands

by mewtophia



Series: claude [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Claude von Riegan Needs a Hug, Claude von Riegan-centric, Emotionally Repressed, First Time, First Time Gone Wrong, Hurt Claude von Riegan, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Men Crying, Mentioned Claude von Riegan’s Brothers, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Sexual Content, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Self-Denial, Soft Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, btw no dimitri doesn’t rape claude; in a sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:46:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29085591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mewtophia/pseuds/mewtophia
Summary: He can’t help but feel something intense inside of him, yet he manages to suppress it; no, he will not let his stupid feelings ruin this moment. Their intimacy, their love, their happiness.Yet somehow, the touches feel so cold.===Dimitri and Claude try to have their first time sex, and it goes horribly wrong.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan
Series: claude [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2099052
Kudos: 34





	cold hands

**Author's Note:**

> hooey,,, we honestly don’t know much about Claude’s bros so yeah.
> 
> Also I’m just assuming Claude’s got no sisters and is the youngest of what? 10-15 brothers? Lol

He’s nervous.

Claude shouldn’t be, he’s done this before. What’s so different with Dimitri? Dimitri’s warm, and kind, it’s nothing.

“My beloved, u-uhm… please, tell me to stop when you feel u-un-uncomfortable.” Dimitri says, a stutter can be heard; he giggles at how cute Dimitri’s stutter is, he really is nervous. Claude nods, giving his lover a warm smile; he isn’t uncomfortable, why would he be? “Alright, hurry up now, can’t keep me waiting.”

Dimitri nods, with his oiled up dick and Claude’s well-stretched hole, he enters slowly. He can’t help but feel something intense inside of him, yet he manages to suppress it; no, he  _ will not _ let his stupid feelings ruin this moment. Their intimacy, their love, their happiness.

Yet somehow, the touches feel so cold.

Faerghus is naturally cold, but they aren’t in Faerghus, they’re in Claude's room. The walls are thick, so even the loudest of screams cannot be heard unless the doors weren’t closed properly. Claude knows this, so he allows Dimitri to moan as much as he pleases.

Claude doesn’t, well; naturally, that is.

He doesn’t feel anything, and it upsets him; so he fakes his moans, his pleasure, his everything. He’s disappointed in himself.

He almost freezes when Dimitri holds his wrists above his head.

No, it’s natural. It’s natural to hold someone down when you’re penetrating them, you don’t want them to escape.

Yet this feels threatening, almost as if he’s refusing to let Claude leave; but anything, anything for Dimitri’s pleasure. Anything for Dimitri, anything to make him happy; anything for  _ his survival, anything for him to stop the pain quicker, anything to just make it stop _

_ Oh god make it stop please please please he doesn’t like this one bit stop  _ **_stop s t o p—_ **

“Stop!” He screams, and he feels Dimitri halt. “Stop STOP STOP I’M SORRY PLEASE—!” He feels his body being pulled close, and he tries to regain composure; Dimitri pulls out and lets him lay there in his arms, assuring him that everything’s alright.

“I’m… I’m sorry, I-I hurt you, didn’t I? W-We… we can… continue this. Another day.”

What?

No.

**No.**

**He failed? He** **_failed._ **

“No!” He shouts, and Dimitri flinches; a spike of guilt shoots him, but he can’t, he just  _ can’t. _ “No, you can’t stop now, Dima! Hah! Sorry, I was overreacting. Come on, I can handle—“

“Claude. You’re crying.”

He doesn’t notice it at first, but he does now. He wipes his cheeks and eyes, but the tears keep flowing.

He ruined it.

He’s ruined everything.

Claude ruined their night, he failed. He failed, he _failed, he_ ** _failed._** _Now Dimitri’s going to leave him, he failed to give him what he wants. He’s going to be gone the next day, hate Claude forever, and never speak to him again— that’s just the way it is._

_ They take. _

_ They leave when they’re upset. _

_ And Claude failed to pleasure. _

“No, seriously Dima. I’m fine! Just some over dramatic reaction. Come on, lay down, I’ll just be in charge. You’d like that, huh—?”

“Claude.” His voice is firm, and Dimitri notices Claude freezing up from his tone. When he sees Claude’s eyes, there’s nothing, nothing but  _ fear. _ “Claude, I-I’m sorry, are you—?” He reaches out for Claude’s hand, but he’s shocked at Claude suddenly falling off the bed, scrambling to get away from Dimitri.

As if he was  _ hurting _ him.

Claude’s vision is blank.

Everything is just a blur, and his mind spins.

_ Everything hurts, he wants to go home. Dear gods, then Mohammed and Abeer will be there. No, not them. Anyone but  _ **_them. He can’t handle it anymore, no more, please no more. It’s too much, too much too much too much too muchtoomuchtoomuchtoomuchtoomuchtoo—_ **

His breath suddenly gets more stable, a voice guides him, and he falls asleep.

**====**

Dimitri’s here on his bed the next day.

What does he say?

“C-Claude… u-uhm… are you okay now?” Dimitri asks, and Claude nods, plastering a smile on his face. “I’m fine. No worries, just a weird freak out. Why?” He asks, and Dimitri bites his lip, hesitating to speak.

“You… you were telling me to stop.”

Oh.

“Claude, you- you were begging for your  _ life. _ I was… concerned and scared. I’ve- Claude, I was just…” he tries to speak, but Claude’s ears start only hearing static.

He knew?

He  _ knew. _

Claude feels like he wants to puke, it’s all bubbling in his stomach.

He feels a hand on his own, and looks up to see Dimitri, his eyes filled with worry and concern. “You… you don’t have to tell me, not yet. I… I just want you to feel safe.” 

Because Dimitri knows. He isn’t new to this experience, well; not the sex part, but talking to someone who’s been through such hell.

Claude only stares at him, trembling and taking in short breaths; everything feels cold, and the touch remains on him.

For the first time in years, he falls into someone’s arms and wails.

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaa, I feel bad :’)))


End file.
